Dead lizard #2
Edit: Before you read this post, I have something to say.
I JUST REALIZED HOW HORRIBLE MY TEMPLATE LOOKED IN DIFFERENT SCREEN RESOLUTIONS.
so if my template doesn't fit exactly into your computer, meaning you have this little scrollbar at the bottom in which you have to move to the side to see the tagboard, you better change your screen resolution now. i don't want my beautiful template destroyed by your computer.
so change it to 1024x768 okay. otherwise get murdered for mutilating my template. if your computer still refuses to show it properly, change your resolution to the smallest there ever is. I rather have my template not stretched full out then to have it cut off halfway and let the words in the main background scroll over to the side bar making it look so damn ugly. CHANGE IT NOW.
if you have, good. you can now proceed.
Re-edit: for the sake of all of you, i've just shrunk my template to give allowance for 40pixels difference. so if you still have a little scrollbar at the bottom, your screen resolution is warped. Seriously.
For some extremely weird reason, I have an affinity with dead lizards.
In case you are new and you haven't been reading my blog since 2005, you can er refer to
here but
don't go if you 1) can't stand lame things, which is exactly what that post is, and 2) is under the apparent disillusion that ZHIXIN is perfectly innocent, and wouldn't want it to be shattered.
So now guess where the lizard appeared.
As I was flipping my desk calender happily trying to note down dates and all, I got the
hugest shock in my life. There, in the month of March, was a flattened, dead, dark, squished lizard hanging pathetically off the page looking as though at any moment it would fall off.
EUGH ARHG EEEEEEEGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Now, I don't mind lizards. In fact, they're friendly creatures who help us to get rid of the evil and pestering mosquitoes, and scutter away when they see us, which is perfectly fine with me. In fact, I don't even mind dead lizards if they're hanging on the wall like in that post I wrote last year.
But on my calender?
EUGHHHHHH.
Oh my god. It's probably infested with bacteria and germs and whatnot. And lizards are
poisonous, as you all are probably aware of. OH MY GOD. I feel like throwing that calender away, but i don't ever feel like touching it again.
My hands are probably infested with poison already. I bet if I don't wash them when I drink my milo later I'll get poisoned and die like that dead lizard only suction-pad-less.
Suction pads are very very inconvenient for dead lizards. They just hang right there and decompose without a proper burial.
Maybe I should come up with another lame story for this lizard.
The story of dead lizard #2Once upon a time, there lived a lizard, a tiny one at that. Now this lizard is a very naughty lizard who refused to lizten to his mother. His mother is a wise wise lizard who knew better then to go to ZHIXIN's room, and thus advised that lizard not to do so, but did it lizten? Well obviously, NO.
Okay fine we all know ZHIXIN's room is a havoc, a place of mess where papers and books are scattered around to no end with even books on her bed (the one that she doesn't sleep on). And the clothes, instead of being put nicely into her closet, are just dumped on that sofa in her room, and they aren't even properly folded as they are just ruffled around everytime ZHIXIN is looking for something to wear. Well from this you can tell zhixin is a very lazy person who, above all things, finds no purpose in cleaning up her room as she knows it's going to get messy within a day. And, believe it or not, zhixin loves this messy state as she believes it aids in her concentration and focuses her mind (yeah yeah).
So in conclusion, it is a perfect place for insects and pests to scutter around, but of course, they should know better than to do that.
So this little lizard, we shall call him Murky due to his murky state of death (if there even is such a word, but according to the great dictionary of zhixin, it means flattened, disgusting, decomposing and oozy), decided not to lizten to his ever-so-wise mother, and decided to instead venture well upon to explore the wonders of zhixin's room, which we all know are a lot, but is still not an ideal place for lizards to go.
Now we all know that while a messy state of a room can prove to be a playground for pests, it can also be detrimental to them due to the sheer size of them, which can prove to be fatal obstacles. Unaware of this, Murky decided to slide around the various papers in the playground.
"Hey what's that?" It wondered as it saw a brilliant picture filled with colours, a picture that reminds him of where his ancestors once lived, A PICTURE WITH A WINDMILL. Now he knew from one of the many stories his mother told him that one of his ancestors died from getting caught in one of the blades, and he was curious as to how it died. Of course, he didn't know that one of the most famous proverbs in english is "Curiousity kills the cat", which in this case should be changed to "Curiousity kills the lizard".
So happily it went to explore the wonders of the windmill. But pretty soon it got bored with the unmoving object.
"What, this stupid object caused the death of my ancestor? What a loser the ancestor is. SO DUMB. How can this stupid thing cause the death of ANYONE? Or maybe I'm just too clever to get caught by it HAHA." it thought gleefully. With added courage, it decided to venture past that page in between another page.
WHAM! To his utmost good luck, the calender fell down, pulled down by the force of gravity and the force of wind, both of which are good friends of zhixin, and who know that zhixin will be very unpleased to find a lizard in her room to say the least. However, they could have chosen a better place to kill the lizard, but I suppose that was the best they could do.
Before the lizard knew what was happening, it got smashed down forcefully, forcing all the air out of his lungs and squishing and flattening all his internal organs. "MUMMMMMMM!" was the last word he uttered, before he died an utterly horrible death, stuck to the page by his suction pad.
His mum, a wise creature, grieved for his death, and shook her head sadly. "Why, oh why, oh why, oh why didn't you listen to me?"
Now the moral of the story is:
1) Curiousity kills the lizard
2) Always lizten to your mother
SEE SO MANY MORALS! I am amazing, truly I am.
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far and wee
you and i together mysteriously and always floating
Sunday, March 12
11:04 PM
