Listen to the following and tell me how french people understand each other
I listen to this with my gaping jawIf you're interested it means I felt in my hands a disgusting beast, from Georges Bataille's poem I dreamed of touching, translated by Rosemary Lloyd.
Although except for french people I think it sounds more like a caveman going MANIMANO probably meaning something like I WANT TO EAT YOU
Romance evidently comes at a price.
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I've been playing this game called Virtual Families lately; it works a little like Sims but with less freedom of what you can do (you can't, for example, put someone on fire or drown them in a pool). The good thing is, you don't have to watch over their every movement and make sure they go to the toilet when they have to go to the toilet. Also, they work in real time.
While boring most of the time, this game has its moments:
1. Euphemism for sex:
First of all, they call this action "trying to make a baby". This action comes after the God of the game, namely me, drags the girl on top of the guy or vice versa. Sometimes they aren't in the mood so the game says "They can't decide whether or not to have a baby" and their action is "Arguing", inclusive of squabbling noises. Evidently the characters in the game are not much interested in sex as an act of desire but use it for purely utilitarian purposes.
Here comes the act itself. After they decide that they are in the mood to "try to make a baby", they go to the bedroom as what you'd expect. The God of the game watches on with anticipation. The woman first takes a rose, and scatters the rose petals on the bed. Romance is a very important factor in the game despite the fact that marriage proposals come by emails and you pick the guy/girl like you pick oranges in the market. The bed now looks like a cosy nook that is absolutely delicious for some fooling around. The woman and the man get on the bed. They are still standing. The God watches on as her characters jump on the bed for about two seconds, then get off. The act is done.
Uh wait what?
The characters then get back to whatever they were doing, like watching TV. If they are successful in making a baby a baby pops up in the woman's arms immediately. I sense some gender stereotype here.
2. What to do when your oven's on fire
In Virtual Families, they run over to the oven and jump for a few seconds. The game reads, "There is a fire!" Huge volumes of smoke rise up from your oven. After jumping around, the characters go back to "Playing video games".
The smoke continues to rise up, and will rise up until you quit the game. The oven is fortunately made of fireproof material and there is no such thing as irreparable damage.
If you want to put out the fire there is a complicated procedure. Apparently the doorknob of the shed is in the sandbox, which has to be gotten by dragging the character to the sandbox. After the doorknob is fixed on, the key has to be obtained from under the doormat (though how we are supposed to know is another question. Perhaps it is a common procedure to hide keys under doormats in America.) Then you finally get the fire extinguisher to put out the fire.
In any other world besides Virtual Families, the house is burnt down to the crisp with its video-playing occupants.
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far and wee
you and i together mysteriously and always floating
Friday, January 8
11:18 PM
