Only god truly knows your fate, etc and etc. 

Aries: The winds have been calling, and the waves of your life are about to undergo a major turmoil. Be prepared to make a decision that might change the course of your life. (perhaps the colour of your toothbrush?)

Taurus: Been drinking much coffee lately? If you look out of the window while making those cups you might just spot someone that will play a significant role in your life, be it your TRUE LOVE or your NEMESIS. Or perhaps just the steam of the coffee fogging up your windows.

Gemini: You have been reclusive enough for the past few days; it is time to go out and party! Grab that set of clothes you've been eyeing in the shopping mall and reveal that side of you nobody has witnessed (that passive-aggressive side. Whatever that's supposed to mean.)

Cancer: Sweet, sugar, candy cane. Too much sweetness is giving you a toothache. Maybe it's time to drop a visit to your friendly dentist. While you're there, remember to share some of that overwhelming sweetness with him or her. It could be a chance for romance! Or at least you can boost the credentials of causing tooth decay to a dentist.

Leo: LOTS OF WEALTH AND HAPPINESS

Virgo: Your virginity might be at stake here. Zhi Hua's PW project reminds you that if you cannot abstain, at least use condoms.

Libra: The seas have been rocking you violently, causing you to moodswing from one end of the world to the next (which is to say, not at all, since there are no ends of the world. IS THAT NOT A PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE, WE STAY AT THE SAME PLACE). The moodswinging is making you and everyone around you seasick. It would be best if you prepared some seasickness medicine and go to sleep for a while.

Scorpio: Nature can't help but make its signs felt throughout your soul. These few days you could be feeling somewhat pensieve, reflecting on every leaf you come along as a sign of the general decay of the world. By the time you get home, it might be time for breakfast again, after your last meal of breakfast. Therefore it would do you well to prepare lunch and dinner for your walks back home. (it would be certainly idyllic to eat and reflect on leaves at the same time)

Sagittarius: Your caustic nature is only causing despair to the people around you. Rest assured, you are only a burden to everyone around you. To lighten everyone's shoulders, consider a less selfish approach to life. Perhaps less apathy would do your frozen brain good.

Capricorn: Whatever emotional turmoil you have been facing, the upcoming christmas will ensure that you will face more. Arm yourself with tissue.

Aquarius: The sunny-dipped streets are quietly waiting for you to appreciate them! A little bounce along the pavement will do you much good in lifting your spirits. More little bounces might cause other pedestrains to give you curious stares and think, "THIS REMINDS ME OF SOMEONE I KNOW!"

Pisces: Stop pissing everyone off. We know you have pinces. Good deeds go a long way (like those discarded items you ship to Africa; they certainly travel far)