Remember kids! Down the road, not across the street. Sliting across your wrists, which you claim was a serious suicidal attempt, hasn't killed a single person in the last hundred years (even without medical attention). It is, however, a great way to get yourself slapped by a paramedic, then by an ER triage nurse, then by an ER doctor, then by the on-call psychiatrist.
Getting closer! If you want to bleed better and have a (slightly) better chance of dying , this is the second best way to cut. Make sure you cut very deeply, being sure to open the vein up lengthwise. Do this with your body submerged in a bathtub full of the hottest water you can endure to help with the bloodflow. Drink alcohol or another anticoagulant and be sure to keep the vein from closing. If you're 'rescued', this method will impress the emergency room folks and the psychiatrists on hand, since most lame suicide attempts cut the other way and few care to go to the trouble it takes for proper bleeding.
How can you tell if you're emo?
Your main goal in life has to be to commit suicide and think you're amazing with your crying emoness... well, not really commit suicide, but to give off the impression that you wish to commit suicide.
Emos - the facts
Fact - The emos' inner turmoil stems from one crushing fact. They purport to only want to go out in the rain - to hide the tears that stream endlessly down their faces - yet the rain messes up their ridiculously cool hair - what to do???? You see.... you see the harm this kind of problem inflicts.....
Fact - Emos are spreading across the globe - this problem is real and it's happening NOW - Mongolia has already been lost.
Fact - All emos smell like almonds - 'tis the smell of evil.
Fact - Emos aren't human - so it's okay to be mean to them.
Fact - Emos will all one day grow up to work in banks.
Fact - An Emo is another word for a cabbage.
Fact - All Emos have brass knees.
Fact - Emos do grow on trees. In fact, they spawn from the roots.
Fact - Emos are more prone to bad vision than other humans, due to either their poorly styled fringes, eye infections from eyeliner, or from being on myspace all day long.
Fact - Emos are now being hunted by Chuck Norris...When Chuck Discovered that there was emotional hurt being caused that was not attributed to chuck....chuck answered with vengance
you and i together mysteriously and always floating
Sunday, October 8
5:30 PM