every single little thing
Sometimes stuff just get so screwed up you just feel utterly completely helpless at everything that's going on. Sometimes you just feel like crying for no good reason at all. When people ask you what's up you can't answer them, cos it's not anything substantial -- it's just everything in general, every single inch and bit of that stupid thing you call life.
And my computer has been disconnecting consistently as though its personal mission is to add one more thing to my list of things that have been screwing up.
It's just everything, EVERYTHING, ranging from stupid pointless PTs that just keep coming one after another without even giving us a break to dumb exams just three weeks away from each other to not going home early right after school. I don't know why we're doing all these, why we have so many damn things crammed into 24 hours each day, 7 days, 10 weeks every monotonous term, and we have say a break of 7 days, and it's back to EVERYTHING again.
We're conditioned by society to fear for consequences, to fear that whatever we do will affect whatever we do in future. Everything is tied together by a stupid rubberband that is stretched to the maximum, and every bloody vibration is felt by the next thing in life, and so every stupid mistake you make is bound to come back to you some time later. That's how society ensures you don't turn into a bloody murderer-salvage like that in lord of the flies. And we study stuff that aren't even relevant to our lives. Tell me how to apply equation of circle into my life. What, I'm going to stare at every circle and figure out their equation? What, I'm going to think about the amount of potential energy my annoying computer currently has, and how much kinetic energy it will have once it smashes down onto the ground which is what I really feel like doing when it disconnects? What, I'm going to need to learn chemical formulas so that I know that Na + Cl forms stupid salt?
And so knowing all that will somehow improve my standard of living, just as how staying up the entire night to finish a PT will benefit you in your working life, cos most likely you'll have to stay up the entire night too in future to cram some stupid work thing. It's a vicious cycle that will never ever end.
Like I care about the UN, like I care about free trade and globalization, like I care about the power-hungry USA or the poor as shit Africa.
Sorry, right now all I care about is to stamp on something really violently, preferably my life. And then preferably to become a god after i die and look at all the poor little human beings suffering and laugh.
On a brighter note, ITALY WON AND KILLED THAT STUPID FRANCE WHO WON ABOUT JUST EVERY ONE OF THE TEAMS I SUPPORT. Then again, WC's not happening in another four years.
Ha, the end of something that was just about the only bright spot.
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far and wee
you and i together mysteriously and always floating
Tuesday, July 11
11:22 PM
