Awards for teachers!
With the upcoming Teachers' day, I shall proceed on to present awards to the "
ever-so-self-sacrificing-and-noble" teachers. (:
First of all...
the Lamest Teacher award.
Slap yourself on the head if you don't know who I am talking about.
WHO ELSE???? THE LAMEST TEACHER IN THE WHOLE OF SINGAPORE AND POSSIBLY THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD IS OF COURSE JASON NG! who flaps his arms like wings, say that maths require "GUTS", is constantly looking for the duster, has a voice which goes high and low pitch and off-tune all the time, tells the lamest jokes ever and make us all go DIAOZ...
Yes, undoubtedly he deserves this award. hahaha... I can't even finish listing down the LAME things he does in class. But you have to admit, he is rather nice and I much prefer him to the BORING relief teacher we had last time (what's her name ah? hahahah) in place of him when he went for NS reservice.
Next up, the
Most Boring Teacher award.Ok. This is a tough decision. There are LOTS of teachers vying for this! Nominees include:
1) Tina Chung
2) Tay York Lan
3) The maths relief teacher we had
...
Forget it. I shall not finish listing it down. So far these are the top nominees, but if I have missed anyone you feel is MORE boring than them, please, feel free to nominate them.
SHALL I JUST ADD SOMETHING FOR TINA CHUNG?
Ok. Yes, she's quite nice and all, but she's totally. absolutely. completely. irritatingly. boring.
Her lessons always tend to auto-program your brain to "I-WANT-TO-SLEEPPPPP!!!" mode.
And not to mention, she is UNREASONBLE as well. For the first time in my entire life of 14 years and a few more days, I see a teacher asking us to do LIT corrections. Ok ok I shall not ramble on about that but let's just say I am still very pissed off at this notion. cos I
hate to be forced into opinions. Yes, and that's what she've been doing.
And heard today that she is
biased. You know all the notes she force us to copy down word by word? Rumoured that she gives 201 the handouts instead! and some tips as well! OK OK NEVER MIND LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT THIS.
Let's move on... the
Most Irritating Teacher award. And that goes to......... ZHANG HAO! Always, in class, she HAS to strike a LONG LONG conversation with someone, preferably when we are all struggling to finish the essay she assigned which was to be handed up by THAT DAY. And in the process of striking a LONG LONG conversation with the person, the person, together with the people sitting beside her, is UNABLE to concentrate on writing her essay properly and also unable to finish it in time. The poor poor people (hey! alliteration!)...
An example of our classmates' fear for her: hahahaha... Qian and da shen were walking along the path towards MOELC(or isit otherwise? Never mind. roughly you get the idea) when Da shen suddenly elbowed Qian to look forward. Qian didn't get the message, continued talking until her eyes finally saw what made her freeze in fear.
I mean, LITERALLY.
On the spot... Her legs suddenly forgot how to walk and got frozen into ice though it was a rather hot day(which day isn't?). What was the HORRIBLE thing that was so LI4 HAI4 to cause her to freeze on a hot hot day? Turned out that it was ZHANG HAO. Whoa. Never knew that Zhang Hao had such powers... hahahahhaa.
The Fattest Teacher Award Ok. Another whack if you don't know who this award goes to... if you really don't, I proclaim you completely clueless and that your soul must have been in Mars last year if you didn't notice.
Yes, it goes to the basketball. Or meatball.
He's not teaching in this school now, but nobody has ever gotten close to him...
In fact, the weighing machine beside Popular in our school, which you noticed is now spoiled and stuck at 130kg, was probably spoiled by him.
A few months ago...In the middle of the night, where the silence was broken only by the gossiping of insects who knew exactly what was going to happen and the tell-tale laughing of the leaves which were busy trying to conceal their laughter at whatever that was going to happen, a DARK figure sneaked in the carefully-guarded school of rgs after much struggling with the gate, in which he contemplated trying to squeeze in but promptly realized that he couldn't fit even with quarter his size, tried to climb the gate but instead couldn't even lift himself up (gravity LOVES him too much and therefore pulled him towards it, causing a heavy THUMP sound to be produced as it lip-smacked his butt), and finally decided to smash the lock which met with considerably more success than the other methods as the lock couldn't defend itself against his weight.
What was all this trouble for?
The figure stumbled on towards the direction of the Popular, his eyes all the way aiming the weighting machine that was situated beside it. He arrived there and with a self-confident smile that he had definitely lost weight, plonked himself on the machine.
The poor poor machine felt as though someone was trying to flatten it and make
it lose weight. It gave a groan and a painful moan, trying to give as accurate a measure as the
thing that was above it, finally settling at 130kg and realizing its limits that it could
never give an accurate measure of the weight... and promptly realized that it couldn't move afterwards and gave up.
The figure looked astoundingly at the machine, went off it and saw that the arrow wasn't moving. His self-confident smile then returned, putting the blame on the
spoiled machine which obviously wasn't working to give him his correct weight.
What he didn't realize, of course, was that it was unable to do so as it could only weight things up to 130kg and had died because of him.
And that is the sad sad story of the poor poor machine.
Coolest Teacher Award.....has been won by Ms Wu, followed closely by Amanda Soon.
Yes, Ms Wu is indeed cool! With her funky hairstyle which is always changing colours, the most distinct being red, and her cool dark sunglasses, she is undoubtedly
VERY COOL. And an additional point is that being that she sang at Teacher's day and Founder's day, causing an uproar and voices all over shouting, "ENCORE! ENCORE!"
Though teaching for only 3 months, 202 could recognise the coolness in Amanda Soon, a graduate freshly from Raffles Junior College who was teaching us while waiting for her "A" level results. In the beginning she donned on short skirts, which she later changed to pants due to a complaint. However, what remains still is her make-up and her sentences puntuated with "stupid" (eg: "SO you see, this stupid river overflows because of the stupid water table which is unable to..."). And she is not afraid of confessing that the fact that she has a boyfriend when asked... but refuses to divulge details about him instead asking us to look ourselves. hahaha... No doubt, she IS cool alright.
Errr....
Most scandalous Award?goes to a pair of teachers, namely Mr AND MRS Wolfe...ooops, it's MS AGNES LIM who will give me a booking if I get caught calling her that.
DISCLAIMER: you promise not to tell anyone anything and you accept that these rumours are just hear-say by agreeing to this. If you disagree, please skip.
Refusing to let students say anything about their relationship, being overly polite with each other, coming back to Singapore when BOTH of them were supposed to STAY in canada for the rest of their lives have given students plenty to gossip about.
A rumour is that they only married because MS LIM told Mr Wolfe she was pregnant with his baby... oops. What happened to the baby, we have no idea either.
Rumour goes that they had a tiff in Canada and therefore decided to come back to Singapore as they couldn't stand each other. Don't ask me about them, I am not very clear either...
OK OK, we shall stop talking about teachers. (:
Most Scandalous CLASS Awardgoes to 203! LOTS of girls in 203 have boyfriends, mostly comprising of RI and ACSI guys. During a choir concert, Kristin was REALLY disgusted with her classmate and her boyfriend as her boyfriend was moving so DAMN close to her...
My gossip of 203 comes from Kristin... And the disclaimer applies here too. (:
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Something really WEIRD is going on. Joanne (LUO) says that someone spotted me at ACSI though I SWEAR I haven't been there since June for the debate camp. Could there be a double hiding around somewhere?
And by being spotted, I assume whoever that spotted me recognized me from my chinese drama performance. (:
Therefore, there is an extremely high possibility that the person might have seen wrongly.
Or perhaps the person saw me in the MRT since I've been going Clementi for my SL sessions and to support the basketball match.
Never mind. Hope there isn't a double around... If you have sighted the double, remember to ask her security questions to make sure she isn't a death eather impersonating me under a polyjuice potion and also, warn me as well.
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far and wee
you and i together mysteriously and always floating
Tuesday, August 23
11:34 PM
