A Cinderella's story
Once upon a time, there lived a very spoiled girl named Cinderella. She had a super rich father who was the boss of a very famous spaceship comany (and everyone knows that at that time spaceships were extremely expensive -- 4 billion dollars each!!! so if her father sold one, they'll have enough for all the lifetimes they could have and they never have to work again... and thus, her father was the richest man on earth). Every day, Cinderlla donned on millions of genuine sparkling diamonds, red-as-blood-and-clear-as-water rubies, emaralds, gold, silver, soft-as-velvet silk, you name it, she has it. All the girls in the world were so jealous of her and her family -- however, they comforted themselves that she had one trait that was highly undesirale -- she was the most repulsive and hideous creature ever.
Her hair always stuck out of her head no matter how much gel she applied, making her look as if she had been electrified. Her eyes were white-as-puke and so big that they filled up three quarters of her face. She had no eyebrows at all. Her nose was enormous too -- it filled up the three quarters of the remainder of her face that was not filled up by her eyes. She had 20 repugnant warts that had hair 2-metres long growing on her nose.Her mouth was so tiny(after all, what choice did it have with the enormous nose and huge eyes?)that you had to get within a cm range and squint to see it. And her mouth, instead of being a healthy shade of pink, was revoltingly dark purple.
This is the most beautiful drawing or photo ever done of 18-year-old her:
In order not to frighten you readers, I have modified the photo so that it appeared prettier than it was. I am so kind, ain't I? =D
Anyway, back to the story. Her mother was a exquisite and ravishing beauty, and was so noble that she didn't abandon her daughter when she was born. People couldn't figure how such a beauty could give birth to such an ugly daughter, and thought that Cinderella could not have been given birth by her. They were right. Cinderella's father had an affair outside, and Cinderella was so ugly that the real mother of Cinderella fainted and died of a heart attack upon seeing her. Since Cinderella was his daughter, he had no choice but to bring her back to his home. His wife, being a benevolent lady, adopted her without arguments. His wife was definitely an angel fallen on Earth for nobody could stand looking at her for more than 2 seconds.
However, one devastating and desolating day, God decided to summon his angel back. Cinderella's mother apparantly ate a wrong pill(which was given to her by evil Cinderella as she hated her since she wasn't her real mother and she thought that she had killed her real mother). She laid on the bed with pale lips and a faint smile on her face towards her husband, and said her last words, "Don't grieve over me, Arthur. I've always loved you." With that, she closed her eyes and laid into an everlasting sleep, the faint smile still playing at her lips. She died looking like an angel.
Cinderella's father was so downcast and dispirited that he could hardly think. He regretted ever doing all the wrong things against his wife. Only with her death did he realise that the days with her were the most fortunate and happiest days of his life. He realised that he was the luckiest man ever on earth to marry such an angel, and he wished he could turn back the cruel time back to their happiest moments. God had probably taken his angel back as he wasn't good enough for her. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks for 3 months straight. He could never heal again.
However, an evil force from outside was aiming for his money. Thus, she took the opportunity of which he was the saddest and he signed the marriage document without even looking at it, thinking that it was a work document. He could scarely care at that moment.
And he died after the three months he cried. He never bothered to change his will. His will wrote, "All my propeties shall go to my wife and my daughter" and since his official wife at that time was the evil force, she of course got half of the money. She was greedy, however, and decided to adopt Cinderella without even looking at her, thinking that she could get all his money through that stupid daughter of his.
Little did she know that she had adopted a monster. When she first saw her she was so horrified that she puked one week straight. She was however much stronger than Cinderella's real mother, and didn't die as a result. Reluctantly, and knowing that she had made a wrong decision, she took her in all the while forming a plan to take her money along as well.
However, as I told you in the first sentence, Cinderella was a spoiled brat. She had a talent -- screaming. When she screamed, all the glass in a distance within 500m broke. Because Cinderella's adopted mother did not want to waste her money on this ugly brat and because Cinderella didn't want to use her money also, she ended up screaming for every little thing that her adopted mother didn't want to buy. For example, the castle in France, the prince of Britain etc etc. As a result, Cinderella's adopted mother ended up mending every glass in her house 5 times a day and in the end decided to just replace everything with glass with plastic so that they won't break. Including the windows. Thus, Cinderella could not see anything that was outside.
One day, a good news spread over town: the prince was having a ball!!! Cinderella's adopted mother was delighted with the wonderful opportunity to make more money, since her plan to grab Cinderella's money had backfired and she had instead ended up losing more money. She dressed up as prettily as possible along with her two daughters and declined to tell Cinderella ("I didn't do that purposely!!! She was asleep from last night 8 pm to today afternoon 5pm, and after eating, bathing and watching television she went back to sleep again!")
However, what she did not expect was that Cinderella would wake up suddenly in the middle of that night. She claims it was because of her wonderful instinct. Anyway, she woke up, and with a rage, discovered that she was the only one at home. Looking at letter on the table ("I told you I have a wonderful instinct since I know where to look to find out where they went!"), she found out that they had gone to the ball
without telling her. The audacity!! She dressed up furiously with the fastest speed she could master, and was off taking the most high-class cab after an hour of dressing up. This was a Halloween ball, remember, so she had her face in her mask which was just as well since the taxi driver would probably faint upon seeing her and so did everyone else, blocking traffic and causing a major traffic outrage.
So she arrived at the ball with the most gorgeous dress ever. The prince had been dancing with Cinderella's stepsister and falling more in love with her every millisecond when he was whisked away unknowingly by a mysterious force wearing "lots of hideous jewellery... like ah soh like that..." (according to him, not me!!! I am a very objective and poor writer just trying to tell both sides of the story!!!)
So he was looking very blur and confused as to why he was looking at Lily(that's cinderella's stepsis's name)'s face one moment and looking at a mask the next. This was what was going through his mind: this must be a poor blur blur ignorant lunatic. And so he plastered a smile(for he wasn't too pleased to be dragged away while enjoying himslef) on his face and pried the short, stubby and ugly fingers off his shoulder. "Excuse me miss, I have to go back for my dance."
Now, Cinderella was furious. How dare he! He's so stupid! Doesn't he know that
this is his dance? And so she held him again in a firmer grip since he "doesn't know what he's talking about".
The prince was trying to escape when he felt "snakes strangling his arm and stopping all the blood flow withing him". He was "trying to save himself" and thus shouted ungraciously, "Get off me you stupid desperate idiot! I want to get back to my dance with Lily, not with you this mask-wearing freak!"
Cinderella finally got it. She knew it was a bad choice to buy the mask, when she could have shown her beautiful(that shows how clueless she is) face to the public. And with a florish, she ripped the mask off her face and proudly exhibited her stunning face to the audience.
She was puzzled when she realized that the ballroom was empty(all the people had rushed to the restroom immediately upon seeing her stunning face to puke). She spotted the prince's expensive gold rolex watch on the ground and thought she was doing a good deed by helping him pick up his watch. After all, what if someone took it? Plus, the prince was sure to be very impressed by her and will come looking for her tomorrow, begging to marry her, and she could return the watch to him then. With a pleased smile on her face, she exited the ballroom with the watch.
The prince did come to look for the "person who has the watch" the next day. He had just received the watch from Lily, and thus it was a prized posession and he was very anxious to get it back. Notices were hung up all over town, asking the person to "kindly return the watch and expect great rewards".
Cinderella of course saw the notices. "Oh, so he wants to propose to me(obviously she has misintepreted the "great rewards") in the palace! Fine with me... I can't believe I'll be moving out of this stupid place so soon into the glorious palace!" She skipped around all the way home.
When she got home, she immediately dressed up into the most beautiful dress she could find and tried to squeeze in all her million and one jewellery onto every part of her body. When she was done, she walked with a light skip all the way to the palace. Now, remember that Cinderella has tried to squeeze in her jewellery onto every part of her body and thus even her face was covered and everybody couldn't see her face and instead blocked their eyes for the shine from all the gold was too blinding.
She reached the palace without too much of an effort as the guards were too busy blocking their eyes to stop her. She knew exactly where the prince's room was, and yes, he was there! This shows they have a psyhic connection!
When he saw Cinderella, the prince was shocked and astonished to see a block of gold right in front of his room. He was even more shocked to hear the block of gold speak.
I must be going crazy, he thought.
"Here's your gold watch, your highness," the block of gold said to him. The prince was overjoyed by the fact that his watch had been discovered. He asked the block of gold politely, "May I know who you are so that I can give you your reward?"
Cinderella was so excited that she forgot the essential question the prince had to ask before her answer. "Yes, of course I'll marry you!!!" She hugged the prince so violently that all the gold broke and fell off.
The prince felt as though he had been punched in all the places of his body. When he saw Cinderella's face, he had so little energy(he had been punched, remember?) that he forgot to run to the restroom and puked all over Cinderella's face.
Cinderella was of course not pleased by having a blob of disgusting puke on her face, but she put it off to the prince being too happy that she accepted his proposal.
The prince was disgusted but determined to do his part for the citizens. "Men!!! Take this monster off and execute it right now! We shall save all the people from this monster!"
Cinderella was closing her eyes and expecting a kiss from the prince when she suddenly felt arms encirling her and dragging her away from her beloved prince. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL DOING? I am the future queen! I am the crown princess! I am the wife of the prince! I shall execute you! Let me go right now! Prince, come save me!"
The prince dived forward and landed a solid punch on her face. "Go to hell, monster!" Cinderella was horrified. What happened to her prince? No, this must be his evil twin. Till the knife landed on her head she still couldn't understand what had happened.
The prince had to put up notices explaining all his executions, and this time he put up one that said: "The execution of a monster carried out yesterday at precisely 3.47pm to save my beloved citizens". When the people saw the notices, they cheered and thought finally that they had a worthy future king. They were delighted with their present prince and couldn't wait for his crowning. This was a prince with the most popular support ever in the course of history.
The prince married Lily much to Cinderella's stepmother's delight, and everybody lived happily ever after. Except for Cinderella, of course, she had died, remember?
0 flowers
0 Comments:
far and wee
you and i together mysteriously and always floating
Tuesday, April 12
8:38 PM
